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A new beginning to an endless end.. seems impossible but it truly is.. in many ways I see myself beside you laying next to you.. day dreaming.. anxiety leaving my body completely when I’m near you.. This is in fact my new reality.. your are my fantasy come true.


To whom it may concern.
I could steer you closer to me but I want you here voluntarily.. No made up tales to get you here by my side or wicked lies to capture your heart.. I just want you here because you want to be.

Am I the only one that feels this way?

Ignorant racist shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.. it's fucking ridiculous how they raise their fucking kids!.. no sense of respect.. not even to their own fucking parents or even a hint of actual intelligence... it's all just hate that's instilled in them.. it's fucking depressing!.. yes.. I'm aware i used the word fuck a lot but I'm just that mad right now... I'll just add this to my pile of bullshit.


my turn.
Leave it to you to make me feel.. all fucking confused.. I'm dog staring directly at your bright headlights.. all you wanna do is talk about your sentimental blues.. Well.. I’m tired of hearing you cry.. Call me when your ready for mine.


I'm stretching out my mind and pouting at the world... I'll keep my fist clinched.. just in case I don't ever get my way.


If Only I Knew..
so weaken by your lack of respect yet not completely powerless I still have me inside of me.. I still know what’s right from wrong.. I still think the same as I did before.. You’ve just shuttered my perception of what a noble person would do in your situation.. I wish I were some what like you not giving any meaning to anyone but yourself.. you’ve buried yourself in narcissism.. I wish I could see what caused this in you.. to think only of yourself.. I really shouldn’t care.. it’s what got me in this mess in the first place.


I Shouldn't Have Crossed.
Why don’t you look before you cross?.. Or should I say why didn’t I look before I crossed?.. You were the car going 95 on a 35 mph street and I was the little girl that didn’t know better and crossed just as soon as you reached 95.


Dark Smoke.

I let you in the moment I looked into your eyes.. I don’t think you realized it But you had me deep.. It wasn’t love it was just a sudden spark.. You were dishonest and didn’t even let my spark grow into anything other then smoke.. So now I lay here thinking the worst of you and realizing that people are what I thought they where and you have conformed it.. People are disappointing and unforgiving.. You are my disappointment and I’m close to unforgiving.


Let Me Be Your Trophy...

Calculating every thought and word I say or what I’m about to say to you.. I don’t want to fail at you.. I want to be your trophy.. I want to be just yours.. It wouldn’t matter if I didn’t have anything as long as you wanted me.. Yes.. I’d be just or maybe more than happy to be only yours..


In Your Bed...

You closed your eyes but I’m wide awake.. Staring at you like an unwrapped present that doesn’t belong to me.. I feel almost like a perv wanting you this much and having you this close.. the pain of keeping all my wanted actions to myself is unbearable.. i need to tell you.. maybe tomorrow.



Latest Month

April 2008


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